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Picture of WickedChrissy
Posted
Sorry guys but I needed to vent. I know we all have people around us who care about our well being and all. But there are times that friends/family just don't get it.

My best friend got mad at me for flaking on her twice. She wanted to go drinking one night. The bar we go to is in the mall I work at. I said I wasn't feeling up for it and that I had just been at the mall and wished not to go back as I worked all weekend. Said I was sorry but I wasn't up for it. She logged off without another word.

Yesterday there was a going away party for a mutual acquaintance. I said I'd go totally underestimating my busy day at work. I had a horrible day. It was chaotic. I called her when I got home and left her a message saying to forgive me but that needed to get some sleep (as I haven't slept lately) cuz I just wasn't feeling well.

This morning I IMed her and she told me she was mad at me for flaking on her and that it was twice already. I told her that at least I had the courtesy to call and say I couldn't make it. To be honest after work I didn't want to go to a party from 10 til whenever.

So I am hurt that she doesn't get that with this condition you are good one minute and you may be totally out of it the next. I don't want my friends to think that I am using my illness as an excuse. Most of the time I don't tell them how awful I really feel so they don't think I am throwing a pity party. I understand why she is mad at me but she doesn't have to be unreasonable.

Thanks if you read this far. Frowner


~Chris
 
Posts: 133 | Location: CA | Registered: April 16, 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Posted Hide Post
Poor baby!

This has to be tough!

I've for sure had to dump on stuff--so often it IS a problem for some. I try to explain--try to get them to understand--but some --even my own mother--just don't get it.

BTW I can't do alcohol AT ALL! It REALLY kicks up everything. Please dont' misunderstand me--I do NOT have issues about going out and having a few drinks--my hubby has his beer watching the game often--we keep all sorts of stuff in the house --most of my friends drink. And I'm cool with that. I just learned if I drink that I get sick. Period. Even tho there are MANY times I'd LOVE to drown my troubles in a drink--or twenty! I've learned to carry a glass with water and a lemon in it or something--those who can't get it--can't. It's lonesome at times--but it is what it is and the sooner I get used to it the better off I'll be.

Maybe have freinds over to play cards--listen to music-- or something less stressful?

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I DO feel your pain--am SO sorry you're having to deal with this too. Seems like being sick SHOULD be enough, eh?

Find someone to talk to who does understand if you can--like you did here--or seek out a professional to talk to if you must--but do let this stuff out. Beat up a pillow--yell--find a way to let it out.

Again, I'm so very sorry you're dealing with this! I wish I had better words that these. I DO care. Hang in there!

XOXOXOXOX (hugs)
Sandy


XOXOXOXOX
Sandy Sims
PS: Yes, I DO believe you!

If it's to be it's up to ME!

~~Out of the mud grows the lotus~~~

RSD, Hyperadrenal Dysautonomia, MVP, Raging Dyslexia (that is now much worse with the dysautonomia--so please excuse my spellnig--) osteoporosis, kidney stones, Vitamin D defeciency, high cholesterol, history of bone tumors, prolonged steriod use, repeat hard to cure infections, insommnia
 
Posts: 244 | Location: Cape Coral, Fl | Registered: June 03, 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of WickedChrissy
Posted Hide Post
Thanks so much Sandy. Alcohol doesn't get me all bad which is weird as I read here that others have a hard time with it. I'll go and have a drink or two, have some dinner and at least 2 glasses of water.

I don't want to play the victim with my friends you know? And I guess that I want them to treat me normal that they just forget I am sick or something and when I say "I'm not feeling well" they only take it as a lame excuse.

I did talk about it with my mom and a few friends. They understand to a point. Which is why I vented here cuz that way I communicate with people who actually "get it".


~Chris
 
Posts: 133 | Location: CA | Registered: April 16, 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Posted Hide Post
Ya gotta be what you are. Ya know? Cause ya really can't be anything else.

Keep on talking when it hurts. I'll keep listening--for what it's worth--and giving a @#$ too even! <grins>

Take care
XOXOXOX
Sandy


XOXOXOXOX
Sandy Sims
PS: Yes, I DO believe you!

If it's to be it's up to ME!

~~Out of the mud grows the lotus~~~

RSD, Hyperadrenal Dysautonomia, MVP, Raging Dyslexia (that is now much worse with the dysautonomia--so please excuse my spellnig--) osteoporosis, kidney stones, Vitamin D defeciency, high cholesterol, history of bone tumors, prolonged steriod use, repeat hard to cure infections, insommnia
 
Posts: 244 | Location: Cape Coral, Fl | Registered: June 03, 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Hey, I completely understand. I have learned after loosing so many family members over this condition not to fake it. I use to pretent i was ok, but I was not. Like you say friends/family do not understand. I am exactly the same way, I can feel ok one minute and very ill passingout the next few minutes. My friends do not understand that when they see me and I look ok, they assume I am ok for the day. But, you know as well as I do that the day can bring ups and downs. I would be honest with my friend, tell her how bad you feel. IT doesn't even matter if you cry, it will help you feel better about your situation.

I have a book coming out within a year, it will be one that will help your friend understand.
 
Posts: 413 | Registered: June 25, 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of michelle_lea
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I'm still very new to this board and haven't posted but a couple of times, but I wanted to say I'm sorry about your friend - even though this is a little late! I honestly do the same with my friends and family... sometimes I just can't do it. Most of the time they understand, which is a blessing. Sometimes I will go out with them, only having to return shortly after because of being so ill.

I'm sorry :-( (hugs)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: michelle_lea,
 
Posts: 5 | Location: Fort Wayne, IN | Registered: June 30, 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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